HIS MORNING James took his time thoroughly in front of the mirror placed at the back of the door of his room. He put his red tie excellently like he had learnt in the video. On a navy blue suit and trousers with light blue shirt, he decided he had made a statement and everyone from the front of his house to his office would take note of “the man who moves.”
He goes to the table in the kitchen and sets his food down to eat. He made sure it was cereals with milk and sugar so he does not have to stain his cloth. James swears that by the time he is done today, people’s heads would move. He eats and then leaves to stop a taxi. On his way, down the street to where he could get a taxi; he starts to feel something is wrong. After eating, he had gone to the toilet and came out, so what else could be wrong?
Anyway, he does notice people looking at him…some with eyes bulging, most especially the ladies. Bulge your eyes out, he says in his ears; you have never seen me kill like James Bond in a party at night. He wasn’t friendly with the neighbors so
they only wave and he waves back, says some good mornings too.
He stops a taxi, enters, hoping for the taxi driver to turn around and look at what he wears or how good he looks. Nothing. Unserious driver he thinks. Drops and pays the demanded fair as said by the driver who seemed more concerned with the cleaning of the inside and outside glasses of taxi.
He enters the building and every lady coming ahead of him, have their eyes away from him. Some keep the stares, start adjusting their shirts and walk away quickly. James, James, you just are too handsome for your skins. He laughs and then…
‘James, can I have a minute with you?’ Finally, his female colleague who has been secretly admiring him now would tell him the truth.
‘I like your outfit.’
‘You ate cornflakes with milk this morning right?’
‘Yes, how did you know?’
‘That’s what you bought yesterday evening and brought to the office before leaving…’
‘Okay, I bought that but still how did you notice that…’
His colleague becomes uneasy and decides to tell him what she really has in mind.
‘I know, I know…’
‘No, you don’t know anything; you don’t need a mirror to notice…’
James interjected ‘That I poured milk and cornflakes on my clothes instead of rice and stew?’
‘James, I wish…please try and fix or put your zip properly, no one wants to know if you wear sponge bob under pants!’ with this, his colleague, walks out shoulder high; at least she has done what his friends couldn’t do instead of laughing behind him.
(From A Basket of Tales: A Benue ANA Anthology which can be downloaded for free by clicking HERE)