Posted in comfort, GRATITUDE, LIFE


I have learnt to take a few things; to embrace the tears of others, whether in joy or sadness. It has been a year like that. 2017 was. I have grown tougher, and yet, softened too. I am not the man I was at the start of that year, or the man the year left. I have learnt to love more, but to also note, that even those we love have great flaws. While it takes nothing to be loyal and it is allowed to be blind, we have to be wise to listen when people point out errors in us and in those we love. No need to defend blindly or to be angry when we are told the truth. Importantly, there is no weakness in being sorry. No matter how far gone or how early, once we find our wrong, we should right it in what ways we can while acknowledging our guilt. We can change what we can, and should change it if we have to, and if it will make things better. What we can’t, we can’t and we can only find ways to assuage what damages we can.

Life is what it is – kind and unfair, in differing measures. We have to accept this.

I learnt an important lesson: to have a chest for happy memories where I would save treasured moments, to use in times of torment. There are those days when the skies get too bleak and it is only those memories that become the light to help us through the darkness those times bring. In simple English: appreciate every moment and store vividly every time of joy. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
There’s no time to be too bitter, let things go. Time is fickle and life too short. I know this. I lost two uncles (brothers), two cousins (siblings), a cousin’s child and a younger sister. To mention only those in the direct family. Just in a year…and all, in the second half. That same season when I did my nuptials (apologies to family and friends who I couldn’t get through to or thought I got to in my state of being overwhelmed… You still mean much, and we are still collecting gifts 🙂 ).
Vern, the treasure of most of us, was only 28 years old. She died on the 1st of December. She was buried, as is the tradition with young ones, a week later on the 8th, a day to my church wedding. I had thought I had lost the gift of my tears as I would experience the deepest of pains without an outlet to shed away the tears. For her, I cried non-stop for hours. And in my heart, the wound of her loss still bleeds, and will, for very long time. The trauma for my brother, James Blaze, and my other siblings, is perhaps more but we all mourn differently, pain being a private affair always no matter how shared. In the same season I got to share of the loss of the child of my good friend and adopted brother, Saddiq Dzukogi. It got me thinking on much too. A whole lot. And just when we thought it was all over, another cousin lost his daughter on the 31st of December, 2017. #sigh

In the spirit of the New Year, I am starting life afresh and thinking of things in new lights. I have my family, my co-driver, Agatha, with whom I am navigating… I don’t know where these roads would lead but I am hoping to be a better man in every ramification. I raise a toast to us all and ask, that in all our ways, we also take that step to be better than we were everyday. At the last second, life’s battle is not a race with others but with ourselves. May we smile, fulfilled whenever the curtain calls, and may life always treat us kind. Amen.

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Thanks Google Images. Let’s walk.
Posted in comfort, INSPIRATION


Different dawns come upon us and the sun we see today, though the same that appears tomorrow is different in many ways – maybe in intensity, or just in the manner it sends its rays upon us. It is the same thing with affections, emotions and a whole lot more. Today, well, yesterday was a funny day. I got to remember much about family, and lost ones. It started with a movie, Lukewarm. The sub-plot was about a father-son relationship. It took me on a long journey; life.

Later, as the day wore on, as I walked the road with a friend and got to meet with family, and talk to other friends in different areas who needed a little help or the other, I got to realise that a lot of people are going through so much pain. So much pain, that we often do not note. It has been a learning period for me, these past weeks. I have learnt and am still learning much about friendship, about family and being grateful. Also about God who is always there for us too and Jesus. There’s always much to be grateful for. Always.

But back to this night, I watched a certain series about some girls who stood for their friend when a teacher tried to victimise her over grades (sex for grades). At the risk of going to jail, these three friends stood up for their friends. I was deeply touched, and I had to wonder what was wrong with me as I felt some tears.

Many times, even when you cannot give the specific help needed to aid a person out of pain, give an attentive ear, letting go of that seemingly important thing that you think you might have to do. Being there and saying the right word, just might be all it takes. Sometimes, even without those words, just being there, really being there… It takes a lot for some people to tell you their tales, and if you are privileged – for it is a deep one – please, be there.

Who knows where our tales will end – or how? You can be a hero and shine a light out of someone’s darkness…

On whatever roads life takes you this day, and even in the days ahead, I pray the roads will be safe, and that you will always have God’s grace to lead you, peace in your heart, then joy. And a friend.

Good morning.

Posted in comfort, INSPIRATION, LIFE

Show Love (Random Notes) – Su’eddie

Even men too love, is the title of a poem by Ene Odaba, my adopted daughter. She writes deep. She writes well.
I have been thinking of late how many times some men put a  bold face while dying inside, showing emotions in every way without saying the words. They imagine that the lady should understand… Now, I have come to realise that whether you are in a relationship or hoping to win a lady’s affections, you need words to help build assurances, to rekindle fires and spice desires.
Insecurity easily rises when a partner doesn’t always express love. Insecurity arises when competition comes up, whether intentional or not.
I have been talking to a few friends and getting their views on this, which has led to this post.
I don’t know where you are or how your relationship is going but please,  take time to tell your love you really love the person – mean it. If you have lost your spark,  rework it. Share compliments, ‘You look good’ ‘I loved that picture of yours’…
Heck, treat the person like a child. Shower kisses and all.
I see too many people dying these days.
I see too many relationships withering.

A most lovely friend of mine mentioned to me this evening that when we look back at issues against time,  a lot will be trivial.
Make every moment count and shower the love on your special someone tonight. ..


memory’s hold for our mothers (excerpt from a poem, for mothers) by su’eddie vershima agema

…at midnight You arrived home
wearing Your tiredness like a coat

Mum (from
Mum and baby (from Here)

after a seventeen hour shift

Your eyes met my shivering frame
and motherly instinct undressed Your weariness
to pick Your boy
Your feet became wings to fly us both
to the nearest hospital miles away

we had silence for our companion
and when it became too comfortable
a sob from You or some more clattering from me
we found the home of healing after an eternity of walking;
me on Your back like a rider on a donkey

when the next morning came
i was well enough to smile my way to another day
You simply took your bath and found the road to work again


the chapters roll on quickly and i find myself years away:
our tale has made me a man seeking bread for my mouth
and the boy who took a ride on your back
wears the beard of a goat
walking the streets to seek remnants of a wealth
that hides in the past of a country whose resources
lie in the pocket of few fat fools who live that all else might die
i scratch two notes together and they light a small spark
to quench the cold of my phone’s recharge balance

Your voice sneaks in a whisper on the other side
a laugh only You can conjure appears in my mind
i try to translate it to words
but You cut me short:
hello son… I can’t talk much… the boss is watching
and I have hours to clock before I close…

(published 2015 shutters off: tales in verse)

Su’eddie  Vershima Agema is the author of 3 poetry collections and a short story collection. He won the Association of Nigerian Authors Joint Prize for Poetry 2014. He can be reached on Twitter @sueddieagema


Ramblings of comfort (a poem) by Su’eddie Vershima Agema

(For Agatha)

The news flooded our plains
drowned our peace
and taught lessons on time

Yesterday will never be new
but today grants grace
where we can water memory
to squeeze laughter out of our despair

Even as pain’s strain strangles you
know I am here to give all my joy
to paint a rainbow if nature wouldn’t

For now, hold on Love
we will sail through this season of grief