I just read an article with a similar title (without the ‘Ramblings on’) as this post by Subomi Plumptre. It touched me and made me rethink several things. In addition to that, I attended a requiem Mass for someone who passed on from an accident.
Several of us have been conditioned to hold grudges without addressing them. Often we would be offended, let it fester into wounds, rot and become something worse. My siblings and I have been like that for a long while, being pacifists rather than facing issues head-on. In our cases, we are blessed to forgive and let go, but I suspect the residue of things unresolved remains in some cases. People can also easily cultivate the habit of stepping on you continuously if you are like that. Reminds me of that saying by Zora Nearle Hurston: “If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.”
However, we have been fortunate to marry into places where we are challenging that mindset of not tackling things straight. We are also learning to practically deal with it day by day because there is nothing we cannot change if we set our heart to it.
Whatever you do not settle grows into something worse. I would suggest that if you have any issues with anyone, please, go ahead and sort it. Life is short, and you don’t know when it might be too late. Only a few weeks back, I lost a friend who was an elder brother, Professor Adakole Oklobia. Accident too. We had not spoken in some time, and our last communication was a short text, to which I replied in the same light. He had become busier, and I would call every once in a while to keep in touch but maybe grew a bit tired. I wish I had called more and maybe replied with a longer text. I think now of people who held grudges against me on trivial issues that we could have resolved easily if we had just spoken…or confronted it.
I am rambling, but hopefully, this would make sense to someone somewhere. The only time we have is NOW; let’s make the best of it, for the next second comes with its many troubles.
May life be kind to us all. SVA