THOU SHALL NOT BOW (Thoughts) by Aidee Erhime

Professor X had a friend, we’ll call him Dr Y.

Dr. Y’s wife recently became a professor and he came to Prof. X’s office to officially invite Prof to the celebration of success. It was something to be proud of. In the middle of the whole discussion and congratulations between both intellectuals, Dr. Y was clearly unhappy. Encouraged by Prof to speak out, Dr. Y poured out his whole jar of rants. His wife, whose school fees he had paid, whose welfare he had managed, whose life he had uplifted, had now become his intellectual superior. She was now a professor and he, a mere doctor. People now called the duo Dr. And Prof. Y and as if that is not enough, she has refused to show her gratitude to him.



One party would say the man is simply a hater while another would sympathise with him. A good fraction of the sympathisers would call the first party the feminist group. Isn’t that the norm of the day? Everyone who even remotely defends a female is called a feminist. I am a feminist.

News I read a while ago spoke of a different couple. A wife bagged her PhD and went on her knees before her husband to express immense gratitude to him for his support. One group spat out rebuke. Why would she go on her knees Aren’t there better ways to say ‘thank you honey’? A kiss? Mind-blowing night kungfus? Oh but she decided to kneel down and worship him like he is the alpha and omega of her life! Tueeh!

I am a feminist. I stand for everything that shuns maltreatment of females. I am against being told not to argue with a man because he is a man. I am a stubborn lady who will never let a man demand respect from me, not because he deserves it  but because he  is a man. But here’s something else, when a woman decides to marry a man, she inadvertently accepts to respect him above all else. Why would I get married to a man and find it hard to go all the way down to my knees just to show gratitude to him?

I dare say that those who cried foul are not feminists. Feminism doesn’t preach disrespect to your spouse. Feminism stands for proper treatment of women, feminism says don’t treat a woman as inferior. It doesn’t say to disrespect your husband. Feminism says, “I may be a woman but society won’t break me down; I get to make a choice rather than do as people expect me to do as a woman; I get to show society that my body isn’t all I have, I also have a brain that can think, a creative mind…” This is feminism, at least my version of it.

So why people hide under the canopy of feminism to scold a woman for kneeling before her spouse is confusing. Do they do it for the fun of it or for the satisfaction that comes with confusing young minds?Perhaps, it’s because I was brought up among the Yorubas who value respect a lot. Perhaps there’s something wrong with me for thinking she did just the right thing. Perhaps, I’ve decided to be stuck in the old-school way of thinking. Perhaps I should wake up and see that the world is fast moving and respect for one’s spouse isn’t a big deal anymore. Perhaps, I should waka-pass as usual and mind my own business. Perhaps…


Aidee Erhime tweets at @AideeErhime, and blogs at SEVHAGE and ERIMZY



Some all-rounded writer with the wits to turn anything and everything to words with inspiration... cheering to glory and on...

13 thoughts on “THOU SHALL NOT BOW (Thoughts) by Aidee Erhime

  1. I agree with your conclusions and frustrations. I do shun titles though, as feminist and chauvinist for example possess pre -determined meanings in many peoples mind. I prefer “human” In the meanwhile, let the chauvinists bellow and the feminists squack, I like to read of human success ! I like your post ! : )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh well, humanists we all be then… 🙂
      We will have to find more of those human success tales… The article actually got me thinking on much… How the divide is much on what even constitutes a certain school of thought. Any way, someone said no two people ever look at one thing in the same exact way. True, I guess.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Seriously this is a very contentious matter as you would hardly find women according to the order of Queen Esther of Biblical History especially after being given an edge.

    It simply blows their minds away as they soon forget how it is that they got there. No sooner do they begin to trivialize the gestures expressed by their spouses all in the name of gender equality. I feel you pain & frustration.


  3. To start with, the poetic ability of the writer game this article the edge. In addition to that, I would say feminism is a concept that has been defined over the years to please the goal of the person stating the definition. For instance, My girlfriend graduated with a first class and I wish to push her so high that she would never have a reason to fall short of anything again even if we would break uo eventually if she allows me. But some pple would say I’m stupid because I should be the head in the relationship to determine the pace and label of success and failure because to them, a leader is always responsible for the action of his surbodinate. I agree with that opinion about the obligation of a leader, but my question is simple, who says identifying a potential success in your woman or man and aiding them to becoming that rear gem has the tendency of making you inferior? I’d say the society today did.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sometimes these things are easier said than done… I can only hope that society will not influence your thought and stance. Usually one thinks the person has a proper idea of what he wants and hopes for, then finds them changing…

      I like your stance though… Be steadfast and hold on to the thoughts sha o…

      Liked by 1 person

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