Professor X had a friend, we’ll call him Dr Y.
Dr. Y’s wife recently became a professor and he came to Prof. X’s office to officially invite Prof to the celebration of success. It was something to be proud of. In the middle of the whole discussion and congratulations between both intellectuals, Dr. Y was clearly unhappy. Encouraged by Prof to speak out, Dr. Y poured out his whole jar of rants. His wife, whose school fees he had paid, whose welfare he had managed, whose life he had uplifted, had now become his intellectual superior. She was now a professor and he, a mere doctor. People now called the duo Dr. And Prof. Y and as if that is not enough, she has refused to show her gratitude to him.
One party would say the man is simply a hater while another would sympathise with him. A good fraction of the sympathisers would call the first party the feminist group. Isn’t that the norm of the day? Everyone who even remotely defends a female is called a feminist. I am a feminist.
News I read a while ago spoke of a different couple. A wife bagged her PhD and went on her knees before her husband to express immense gratitude to him for his support. One group spat out rebuke. Why would she go on her knees Aren’t there better ways to say ‘thank you honey’? A kiss? Mind-blowing night kungfus? Oh but she decided to kneel down and worship him like he is the alpha and omega of her life! Tueeh!
I am a feminist. I stand for everything that shuns maltreatment of females. I am against being told not to argue with a man because he is a man. I am a stubborn lady who will never let a man demand respect from me, not because he deserves it but because he is a man. But here’s something else, when a woman decides to marry a man, she inadvertently accepts to respect him above all else. Why would I get married to a man and find it hard to go all the way down to my knees just to show gratitude to him?
I dare say that those who cried foul are not feminists. Feminism doesn’t preach disrespect to your spouse. Feminism stands for proper treatment of women, feminism says don’t treat a woman as inferior. It doesn’t say to disrespect your husband. Feminism says, “I may be a woman but society won’t break me down; I get to make a choice rather than do as people expect me to do as a woman; I get to show society that my body isn’t all I have, I also have a brain that can think, a creative mind…” This is feminism, at least my version of it.
So why people hide under the canopy of feminism to scold a woman for kneeling before her spouse is confusing. Do they do it for the fun of it or for the satisfaction that comes with confusing young minds?Perhaps, it’s because I was brought up among the Yorubas who value respect a lot. Perhaps there’s something wrong with me for thinking she did just the right thing. Perhaps, I’ve decided to be stuck in the old-school way of thinking. Perhaps I should wake up and see that the world is fast moving and respect for one’s spouse isn’t a big deal anymore. Perhaps, I should waka-pass as usual and mind my own business. Perhaps…